With a Little Help from My Friends

A girl can live in her pajamas for only so long. Eventually, she has to get up, run a brush through her hair, swish around a little mouthwash and actually leave the house. That's where my friends come in, because if not for them, I'd only go to work. Thanks to them, I've been forced to let the sun shine on my face. We've gone shopping, talked about things other than Wyatt and even had a meal or two (and yes, veggies were involved). It's times like this when you find out who your true friends are and I am truly grateful for these men and women in my life.

Wyatt and I came into our relationship each with our own set of close friends. We are both friendly, sociable and likable people, so getting along with each other's group was never an issue.  After 11 years, I actually became close enough with some of these friends to consider them my friends too, but  now what? I don't expect anyone to take sides. They know who I am as a person and are mature enough to remain friends with both of us. Hopefully, we can continue our friendships with having Wyatt as the glue that holds us together.

But what about the friend who let loose the "truth" about what was going on behind my back? Many people have said, "Lose her number!"

I tried to put myself in her position. As couples, isn't it our job to be each other's confidant? If you have a secret, shouldn't your partner be the one person you can tell? What a horrible position to be in, to know a secret that would be extremely painful to someone who you genuinely like and respect and be expected to be quiet about it.  What would you do? Knowing what I know now, I would have to warn my partner that there are some secrets that I just don't think are right to keep.  For me, keeping a secret about infidelity would be like being a witness to an assault and doing nothing about it.

I am truly blessed for the friends I have. Thank you to the friends who spent hours on the phone with me while I cried, the one who dropped everything to drive 200 miles to be by my side, those who privately messaged me with their own stories and words of encouragement, and all of those who are helping me face the hard truths about my relationship so that I can move on and trust again. And the friend who let out the "secret"? I am not mad that she told me because it was something that I needed to know, I just wish she had done it a long time ago. Forgiveness has to begin somewhere, I think I'll start with her.