"Being That Your a Woman....."

Apparently, being a woman scorned, I'm expected to behave a certain way....regardless of my previous actions.  I'm  not perfect but, I am loyal, honest and generous with my time and energy.

Now, "being that I'm a woman" I'm expected to be vindictive and selfish.  Something I've never been before. I think those labels should be directed somewhere else.

I think that my behavior is perfectly justified given the circumstances.  I don't understand how putting myself first and protecting my own interest makes me untrustworthy.

Thankfully, the people who know me, know that they need not question MY character.

Summertime, Baseball, BBQ's and Roasting Weiners

Another indiscretion, public humiliation and loose women crawling out from under their rocks. More material for comics and writers.

I haven't really been reading the "news" articles about Mr. Weiner because, they are simply full of the same "blah, blah, blah."  I've been going straight to the comments and, I gotta say that a lot of you people out there in the webiverse are darn funny..... but then, it is an easy setup.

Let's face it, this kind of behavior is not going to end with this guy.  He is simply another in the never ending list of men whose egos are so large and self images are  so low that they can't seem to keep it private. And, do they really think that these women they cavort with aren't going to take whatever opportunity they can to cash in on being  "_________" ?  You can fill in the blank.

Ironically, I'm in favor of backing off.  Let the man get whatever help he needs so he can get back to the important job our tax dollars are paying for.

Instead, maybe we should use this as a teaching opportunity.  Let's talk to our sons and daughters about respecting themselves as well as others. Remind them that if they put it out on the airwaves, it will NEVER remain private. Admit to them that even people who seem to have it all make mistakes.

"People in glass houses....." right? 

Freedom

On July 4, 1776, fifty-six delegates of the Continental Congress ratified the Declaration of Independence, declaring our intention to become free states separate from the rule of the British Empire. 

I got my independence on June 11, 2011.

Growing up in the United States, I believe that many of us take our freedom for granted.  Most of us  wake up in the morning at the time we choose to wake.  We go to the kitchen and choose what to eat and when to eat it.  We go to the jobs of our choice, talk on the phone without time limits and travel freely.  As of January 1, 2010, 1,612,171 men and women in Federal and State prisons did not have these freedoms. In May  of that year, I became one of them.

For five months, I was told when to wake and sleep, what to eat, what to wear and where to go work for 12 cents per hour.  My calls were subject to approval and limited to 15 minutes.  I rarely got out of bed in the middle of the night to use the bathroom out of fear of interrupting  count time and being punished by having what little contact I had with the outside world be taken from me.  During five more months on house arrest, I was limited in my travel, had to call my PO if I wanted to pick up extra shifts at work and was completely stressed if I knew I was going to be even one minute late getting home at my federally approved curfew.

Never again will I say that I'm having a bad day because, I lived with 300 women who have bad days everyday for years.

The end of my 10 month sentence was celebrated this weekend with many good friends.  It was a long and wonderful day.  As tired as I was, I stayed out until 5 am strictly because I could.

Now I live in a different prison. It's a prison created in my mind, because I am still having a hard time putting 11 years behind me.  No matter where I go, or who I'm with, I still think of him.  I can't escape the memories I have and the pain that comes with them. 

I've lost my career, my freedom and the man I wanted to spend my life with. I've had many labels in my lifetime:  daughter, sister, aunt, friend, girlfriend and teacher.  Now I add a new label: FELON.

So what do I do now?  The only thing I can do.... take each day as it comes and rebuild my life.  As an inmate, my choices were limited, but not anymore. 

The next time you have a "bad day", consider this:  Most of you don't live with 300 people who share 20 toilets and showers.  You went into your closet and had a multitude of colors to choose from.  You most likely didn't wait in line for 45 minutes to have a Chef's salad for dinner (only served once every 5 weeks).  You talked on the phone without a friendly recorded message reminding you that the call was being made by an inmate in a Federal prison.  You smoked your cigarette or drank your beer on the comfort of a couch.  Your coffee actually tasted GOOD.  You hugged your children, kissed your significant other and maybe took a parent out to lunch.  You had the freedom to make choices.

So really..... how was your day?

It's a Blessing... and a Curse

Finally!.... Back with a computer on my lap.   I can't believe I survived without it, because blogging is  SO not easy on a smartphone. Technology is a wonderful thing, but for every good there is an evil. 

The demise of my relationship was "enhanced" by technology, from the "cheating via texting" to his new "relationship" being outed to me on Facebook.  It's ironic that I consider using technology  to find my next boyfriend.

I met Wyatt the old fashioned way.... drunk at a bar.  The idea of meeting someone online seems so strange to me.  Similar to video dating in the 70's and chatrooms in the 80's, it all really seems like catalog shopping for a mate,  very anonymous and cold. 

Online dating, though, does have its advantages.  It certainly makes being shallow much easier.  Those with experience will tell you that "success" in online dating is dependent on how well your profile is written.  Now, I could tell you some tips on how to  make a profile interesting and dynamic, but I think I'd rather share a short list of things that will cause me to pass right over someone. This list may come off as shallow and overly picky, but considering what I've just been through, I'm going to just go with it and call it "cautious."

1.  Your profile pic: Make sure I can see your face and for goodness sake KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON! (Do I really have to elaborate here?)
2.  Don't use LOL and OMG. Leave the acronyms to Facebook. I'm not interested in dating a 12 year old girl.
3.  Take the time to use correct spelling and grammar.  I've seen better writing from my 5th graders. 
4.  If you're going to go on about all of the wonderful activities you participate in and traveling that you love to do, you might want to also mention the job that you have that helps pay for it all.  (Sorry, that comes from my experience living in a resort town.)
5.  Don't pull a Billy Ray Cyrus with inappropriate pictures of you and your teenage daughter. (ewwww)

In addition, I'll pass over anyone who smokes, drinks more than socially, marks everything with "I'll Tell You Later," quotes bible verses,  or for ANY use of the word "sexy".  I'm sure that I'm passing over a couple of nice guys using this process, but I'm willing to take my chances.

In reality, I still don't feel ready to buy anything from the "boyfriend catalog", but I suppose that, in the meantime,  I can do a little window shopping.