I Hear What You're Saying

Some people have expressed their concerns over my and Wyatt's attempt to be friends, and most of their concern is for me.  Trust me that I understand what you're saying and you're right, it is making it harder on me.

I don't know anyone who hasn't heard or said "We'll always be friends" at the end of a relationship.  When we're young, we actually believe that can happen. Through trial and error, we discover that it just doesn't work that way.  We  eventually learn that the best thing is a clean break and a lot of time.

I'm sure he and I are not the first couple who would like to think that we are different.  That regardless of all of the hard times, we had a special connection and we can actually survive this.  Who knows?  Maybe we can..... but not without a clean break and a lot of time first. 

Yes, I am emotional, fragile and vulnerable.  I am also hurt, angry and untrusting.  I was once told, "It's at times like this when you find out who your real friends are." In the last 5 months, my idea of what love and friendship really are has changed drastically.  I've had to reevaluate and separate the "friends" and "friendlies,"  and with that I've debated which Wyatt would be (regardless of what anyone thinks he deserves).  I believe that actions speak louder than words.  His actions will determine how he fits in my life.

The bottom line is that I have a good idea of what is best for me.  I know what has been helpful and what has not.  I've learned to keep my eyes open, and question things.  Some may not see that as a positive, but at this moment it is for me.  

Wyatt had this attitude of "If I can't fix it, I'll break it" that I didn't truly understand until now.  This was a long relationship, and my journey will not be fast or painless.  I  accept that I can't fix it so, I am trying to break it... to break me, by trying to hurry along the inevitable breakdown.  Hoping that each breakdown is a breakthrough and that the last breakthrough was the last.  It's what I need to do for me.

Thank you, but don't worry, I can handle it. I have a great support system.