I haven't written much lately, but that is a good thing. The night before my birthday was very difficult, but it was beneficial, I was busy having a breakthrough. It was a moment of acceptance that is very difficult to describe. I forced myself to say aloud the truths about my relationship. I accepted my part in failure, and the things that were out of my control.
Disney has given women unrealistic expectations of what we expect in a relationship. We want our perfect man, who will do and say the perfect thing. We picture scenarios and create dialogues, and are truly disappointed when things don't happen the way we envisioned. Pornography has done the same thing to men.
I had to let go of my romantic comedy, John Hughes, Disney influences. I accepted that our relationship is not going to be different and he is not going to magically be my Prince Charming. I acknowledged that I was at fault for accepting less than what I deserved. My definition for this breakthrough... "I gave up hope."
What a sad idea that was to me, that giving up hope would be a good thing.
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