It's been three months since the breakup and it's time to evaluate my progress.
Moments of sadness and anger still overwhelm me daily. There is still that pain in the center of my chest. Some days are getting easier than others. It's a slow improvement, but I'll take it.
The ex and I are trying to keep an open line of communication. We are still dealing with the business of separating, and trying to be supportive of each other emotionally. We are friendly, but nothing close to being friends.
On the brighter side....I've changed my diet and have managed loose 8 pounds. Yay me! Can't say that I've been getting much exercise though. The bowflex remains a coat rack, and I couldn't even begin to figure out where my running shoes are. I am feeling a little more energetic each day, just in time for summer. I'm looking forward to warm days on the boat and hikes with the dog.
I haven't gone back to trying meditation yet. For some reason, I feel like I should already be in a peaceful state when I begin. It's like straightening up the house before the cleaning lady gets there. I needed time to vent, and release the pent up negative energy that was eating at me. I still have a lot of emotion that needs to be released. I need to cleanse my soul.
As far as a social life... I'm not ready. My walls are too high, and I've lost faith in people. I go out with friends and hang with the roommates, but being around people is hard. I find myself craving isolation.
I still need to work on my obsession that everything has to happen right now. Time....... "Time will tell", "Time heals all wounds", "Time is our friend." It's time for me to take some deep breaths and keep myself occupied. One day I'll wake up refreshed and energetic. I'll hum happy songs and laugh easily. I won't see it coming, it just will.
One day I'll wake up and realize that I'm happy.
Time does heal wounds, makes life easier to deal with. BUT waiting around for that moment isn't always the best way either. Getting life going sometimes is needed. Waiting for a sign or something to change, might make you miss it. Have to keep moving and going forward while reflecting, while healing, while living. Wow... for a second I kind of sounded a bit knowledgeable?
ReplyDeleteI think that when it comes to exes you can not be there for each other emotionally. Being a woman myself, I know that we call/text/email asking for answers but in actuality we are just trying to manipulate the situation. You are exes for a reason and there is not any reason to help each other heal through the difficult times. I think you should quit tryin to be friends and just deal with the business side of it with little contact as possible. If he has moved on like you said in previous blogs then you have to accept that and do the same. I am not saying jump into a relationship but get outdoors with the nice weather and enjoy life again. I am not bashing you. I am just giving my opinion and hope it helps you with your healing process. You sound like a great person and you deserve to be happy too!!!
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