So, as I've said, we were taking a shot at having an adult, mature breakup (can that REALLY exist?) He stayed with me for about a week after the breakup... his chance to "recover" in a safe environment. He moved most of his stuff out. We saw each other now and then. Made plans to hang out. Still said "I love you", if for any reason but to let the other one know that "your best friend always has your back." Fast forward one month when I saw it.
I didn't search it out. I wasn't playing stalker. I doubt he even knew that the picture was going to be posted. Sitting on the couch with friends, going through emails and checking out Facebook.... I see her profile picture, with him. She was a friend of a friend, actually a couple of friends. I knew that they had met. I wondered why she felt comfortable making their picture her profile pic. And I texted him. Then, as I'm cruising through FB, noticing that she has "friended" his mother, his step mother, brother and his girlfriend, I notice that these "friendships" happened DAYS after he left the "safety" of my home.
Now, here may come a debate. We WERE broken up. He was free to date/sleep with whoever he wanted, as was I. ( Although, that behavior is not my style.) When I literally called him on it, he claimed that the relationship was new, and that he liked her and he deserved to be happy.
Of course, I wanted him to be happy, but so FAST? It was a slap in the face. I would have hoped that he would have some sort of mourning period after 11 years. Maybe guys just aren't built that way. And the way I found out, it seemed so deliberate on her part. And let me make THIS clear, I won't go into the filthy details about this girl, but I know for a fact that she is a step down from me. Actually, quite a few steps. Another slap in the face.
So now I'm not only hurt, but I'm PISSED. He had made the mistake that he knew would devastate me. He started seeing someone else BEFORE he broke up with me. He brought this woman into the lives of his family with his underwear still in my drawers. I had warned him that a betrayal like that could cause a psychotic break. He always assumed it would be violent (not that the thought didn't cross my mind), but as Edward Bulwer-Lytton said "The pen is mightier than the sword."
"I miss my Ex, but my aim is getting better"
ReplyDeleteBut didn't he say he was breaking up to find himself, to get his life together, to get clean, in order to be a better man, friend and boyfriend? Did it only take him a week to accomplish this?? The fact that he used this lie after 11 years of trust and friendship is more than enough to feel hurt, betrayed and you have that right. I just hope you can find the healing you deserve. You are the better person... but it still hurts.
ReplyDeleteIts his choice to be with a person who you consider to be a few steps beneath you. Obviously he thinks he has found who/what makes him happy. Maybe they have the type of relationship that he has always wanted and you were not able to give to him. Just remember you do deserve better then him. From the sounds of it he wasn't thinking about you or your feelings since the beginning of your guys relationship.
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