Found on Wikipedia:
According to the German Society of Ophthalmology, which has collated different scientific studies on crying, women cry on average between 30 and 64 times a year, and men cry on average between 6 and 17 times a year.
Cleaning my bedroom the other night, I found a Valentine's Day card. It wasn't from him, but it upset me, because all I could think was that it should have been. The wave of pain that engulfed me was unbearable. It hurt so much that the feeling within me was more than anger. It took me right back to the emotions of one month ago, devastation and .....hatred, an emotion that I've been desparately trying to exclude from my life.
Most scientists believe that humans are the only animals that produce tears as a response to an emotional state. It is theorized that we feel better after a good cry because the act releases hormones associated with stress. So, that's what I did..... I curled up and cried. I wrote and cried. I didn't need to write much, but it was to the point, "I hate you for what you did to me." Then, I curled up and cried some more.
As momentary as it was, this will probably not be an isolated event. I'm sure that the pain will be dredged up often, by pictures, memories, surroundings and mementos. The problem with a lengthy relationship is the large amount of evidence of its existence which is left behind.
The good news is .... I know that I have the power to work through it.
Sadly with any loss, it's not about absolving the pain, it's more about dealing with it. I'm not sure it really ever goes away but we find better ways to overcome, learn, fast forward and so on.
ReplyDeleteIn time, many great things will happen in your life that will overshadow this horrible time. I'm still waiting for these great times LOL but happy for the little ones I've been given. At least they give me moments to smile.
Hope you find the moments. Hang in there.