Trust..... such a small simple word for something SO important.
You trust friends, family and lovers, and they trust you. We trust each other with our secrets, our hopes and fears, our belongings, our happiness. I trusted Wyatt because of what he WAS able to give me, because, I knew how hard it was for him to give that part of himself to me. I think back and realize now that he always gave me just enough to hold on to me, nothing more.
So, I tried to justify his new relationship. We were broken up, we had become more distant lately, breaking up had been on his mind for a while now. "It's how guys are built." I hoped that I could get past it. I tried to remember the good times we had.... but, damn, I felt so betrayed.
Then came a text from a "friend". She eluded to the fact that I was better off because he had been up to no good. She had "dirty details", "call if you need to talk." I responded with "It would be nice to finally know the truth."
I have always believed that, "Knowledge is power," but I often forget to remember, "The truth hurts."
The truth that she had to share? He's cheated on me before, with multiple women. One was for 6 years during our relationship. One was recent, living in the small town where he worked and stayed 2 hours from our home. Apparently, his family knew of the 6 year "relationship", his friends knew of others.
Devastation is another word that comes to mind, but I don't think it can adequately describe the feeling I was experiencing. Ten minutes earlier, I was trying to convince myself that at least I could remember the good times that would always be ours. In one moment, 11 years of memories became clouded with lies. I can't think of a single moment without out wondering what his angle was, who had he been with right before or after that moment. Behaviors that he would just shrug off because it was nothing.... really, nothing to be worried about.
Who does that? Who cheats 2 years into a relationship and continues for the next 9? Who lies, manipulates, uses and deceives? "Many people do!" I can hear everyone screaming.
I know that there is evil out there..... I just didn't think that I had allowed it into my life.
Sadly enough he took many years of your life..... I believe one day you will be able to get past this. I do not know you, but am saddened at what your ex has done to you. Know that getting this out will help you to feel a little better, and hopefully there are others out here to read this and be here to read your words as I have. There is a lot of love left in you.... it will just be sheltered for a while :( and SHAME ON HIM FOR THAT!!! I hope KARMA serves his ass soon for you!!
ReplyDeleteThis so called FRIEND of yours.... I hope you asked for this person to lose your number... anyone who would wait to tell you something like this is no friend at all
I posted as anonymous,..... cuz the other options suck.. LOL